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Borowitz writes: "A poll taken after Vice-President Mike Pence made headlines on Sunday with an abrupt early departure reveals that a broad majority of Americans hope that Donald Trump follows Pence's example and leaves early, as well."

Mike Pence. (photo: Rex/AP/Shutterstock)
Mike Pence. (photo: Rex/AP/Shutterstock)


Poll: Americans Hope Trump Follows Pence's Example and Leaves Early

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

09 October 17

 

The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."


poll taken after Vice-President Mike Pence made headlines on Sunday with an abrupt early departure reveals that a broad majority of Americans hope that Donald Trump follows Pence’s example and leaves early, as well.

In a striking result, the poll shows that Trump’s early exit would be approximately a thousand times more popular than the one Pence participated in on Sunday.

While Pence defended his decision to leave early on Sunday by saying that he did it out of patriotism, a substantial majority of Americans agreed that a premature departure by Trump “would be, by far, the most patriotic thing he could ever do for his country.”

And while the price tag of Pence’s departure on Sunday, estimated by some to be approximately a quarter of a million dollars, raised eyebrows across the country, poll respondents overwhelmingly said that they do not care how much Trump’s departure costs, as long as he leaves.

Finally, in one of the poll’s more negative findings, a broad majority of Indiana residents said that they were “angry and upset” that Pence did not leave early when he was governor of that state.


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+27 # Wise woman 2017-10-09 21:38
The thing is, Andy, Pence, trump and Ryan all need to leave early and together. Think you can arrange it? You have the backing of many patriotic Americans who would gladly chip in the needed bucks.
 
 
+13 # randrjwr 2017-10-10 08:29
Quoting Wise woman:
The thing is, Andy, Pence, trump and Ryan all need to leave early and together. Think you can arrange it? You have the backing of many patriotic Americans who would gladly chip in the needed bucks.


Not to mention all the rest in the succession lineup--the "bench" is much too deep.
 
 
+15 # ericlipps 2017-10-10 04:43
Unfortunately, if Trump "leaves," we get Pence in his place.
 
 
+3 # Rodion Raskolnikov 2017-10-10 20:01
That's what they said about Daddy Bush and Dan Quayle -- the other VP from Indiana. Why do Pence and Quayle look alike?
 
 
+24 # FIRSTNORN1 2017-10-10 05:35
I'm one of those readers who would not care how much it would cost for Trump to leave early, but there's a couple of conditions:

He would have to take Sessions and DeVos with him.
 
 
+17 # randrjwr 2017-10-10 08:30
Quoting FIRSTNORN1:
I'm one of those readers who would not care how much it would cost for Trump to leave early, but there's a couple of conditions:

He would have to take Sessions and DeVos with him.

And Pruitt, and Zinke, and Perry, and Carson, and.......
 
 
+12 # opinionaire 2017-10-10 08:58
and Zinke, and Pruitt, and Perry...
 
 
+1 # Barebonesart 2017-10-10 14:31
The whole damn bunch needs to leave and we get Hillary, whom most of us voted for by an amazing 3 million more votes.
 
 
-6 # futhark 2017-10-10 17:01
I know this is satire, but it is also journalism. As such, Mr. Borowitz owes his readers an explanation of the circumstances under which Mr. Pence "left early". I had to find this in my local newspaper. Pence left early because members of the '49ers football team knelt during the national anthem before their game with the Colts. From here on out, let us have the full story, please.
 
 
0 # opinionaire 2017-10-13 05:43
The full story would include the staging of this stunt that was agreed upon ahead of time between Trumplethinskin and his lapdog, Pence, at the cost of the American taxpayer.
 

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