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Borowitz writes: "In a finding that has wide-ranging implications for society, British researchers at the University of Leeds announced on Saturday that they have identified the gene for awfulness."

The Trumps. (photo: Evan Vucci/AP)
The Trumps. (photo: Evan Vucci/AP)


Researchers Identify Gene for Awfulness

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

10 September 17

 

The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."


n a finding that has wide-ranging implications for society, British researchers at the University of Leeds announced on Saturday that they have identified the gene for awfulness.

The study, which focussed on one adult male and three of his adult children, makes a persuasive argument that there is a “powerful dominant gene” that makes people heinous.

“When we began our research, we wanted to find an adult male with pronounced characteristics of horribleness,” Alistair Dorrinson, the scientist who led the study, said. “In studying three of his adult offspring, we found that they were all carriers of the gene that makes one smug, tone-deaf, and oblivious to the fate of others.”

Additionally, certain subtraits of awfulness, such as an inability to tell the truth, appear to be genetically mediated, Dorrinson said.

“If the father is unable to explain honestly why a meeting took place, for example, the son who carries the same gene will also tell crazy lies about that meeting,” he said.

Hopes that the gene for horribleness might eventually become diluted as its carriers mate with the general population were dashed when the scientists studied the mating history of the adult daughter in the sample group.

“Unfortunately, those who carry the gene for awfulness are more likely to reproduce with other carriers of the same gene,” the scientist said.


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+61 # Rodion Raskolnikov 2017-09-10 13:58
This scienfific breakthrough is Yuge! It must be the same gene that determines white supremacy. Now we know why all of those people behave the way they do. From father to son. It all makes sense.
 
 
+2 # FIRSTNORN1 2017-09-11 04:13
Quoting Rodion Raskolnikov:
This scienfific breakthrough is Yuge! It must be the same gene that determines white supremacy. Now we know why all of those people behave the way they do. From father to son. It all makes sense.

Yes, and I fear that it makes *all too much sense* why this gene *ran rampant* in the United States of Arrogance.
 
 
+26 # Depressionborn 2017-09-10 16:02
Yes, the more things change the more they stay the same? This from Yeats, 1920:
The Second Coming

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
 
 
+3 # Wise woman 2017-09-10 22:58
I guess this is what the Bible means about the sins of the fathers being passed along to the sons - and daughters?
 
 
-17 # Thomas Martin 2017-09-10 23:02
Even though this is Andy Borowitcz, I think he might be going too far here.
 
 
+8 # tr4302@gmail.com 2017-09-11 04:50
Perfect Andy. The fruit doesn`t fall far from the tree!
 
 
-5 # tedrey 2017-09-11 06:20
This one is outright mean-sprited and unfair., Andy. Still it's awfully funny.
 
 
+8 # lfeuille 2017-09-11 19:29
Mean maybe, unfair no.
 
 
+9 # soularddave 2017-09-11 07:54
Always the question: Nature or nurture?

Must be hereditary, and NOT learned, as we discover Trump can't read.
 
 
+9 # ericlipps 2017-09-11 17:55
Quoting soularddave:
Always the question: Nature or nurture?

Must be hereditary, and NOT learned, as we discover Trump can't read.

It's not that he can't, it's that he doesn't bother. Why should he? He already knows more about everything than anyone else does. Just ask him.
 
 
+4 # thekidde 2017-09-12 09:35
Flat footed draft dodgers, womanizers and liars should not hold public office. Unfortunately, much of the voting public seem lobotomized.
 
 
+2 # elizabethblock 2017-09-12 20:46
What have you got against draft dodgers? Or deserters, for that matter. There are thousands here in Canada, making important contributions to the life of the country.
 
 
0 # MikeAF48 2017-09-12 14:34
Hey big guy climate change is here just look to your south, for what's its worth something's happening here get your heads out of the sand.
 
 
+2 # ouldgoat 2017-09-12 23:33
Wonder if the Donald likes how Irma did a little remodel on Mar-alum-bago?? That ain't science!! For someone with a lot of property located along coasts, you wonder if he might start to worry about his assets being hung out in the wind...
 

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