ALSO SEE: Brian Williams' War Story Is FUBAR

The Fact-Checked Adventures of Brian Williams

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

05 February 15

The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."

he fact-checking department at NBC News has verified that the following anecdotes told by Brian Williams actually happened.

1. In August of 2003, I boarded a helicopter to Steven Spielberg’s house in East Hampton. Once we were up in the air, I was alarmed to discover that there was no bottled water on board. I commanded the pilot to make an emergency landing.


2. In November of 2007, I boarded a Cadillac Escalade to attend the annual gala of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Not until I arrived at my destination did I realize that the driver had closed the door on my Armani coat. I was able to have it successfully dry-cleaned, but that was a close one.


3. In March of 1998, I fell asleep on my tanning bed. I could have been burnt to a crisp. Fortunately, I woke up in the nick of time, but the people at the spa had needlessly endangered me. I started going to a new spa.


4. In May of 2011, the elevator in my building suffered an equipment malfunction en route to my penthouse. I was stuck talking to a tax attorney for seven minutes before I was rescued.


5. While in Sochi for the Olympics last year, I ordered dinner from room service. I don’t know if it was the oysters or the caviar, but something had gone bad. I was hurling all night.


6. In December of last year, I had to attend a live broadcast of “Peter Pan.” It was worse than I expected, but I was trapped for two hours with no way out.