RSN Fundraising Banner
FB Share
Email This Page
add comment
Print

Borowitz writes: "On the heels of an initiative to provide police departments with body cameras, there is growing support for a plan to supply grand-jury members with eyes, advocates for the plan said on Wednesday."

Demonstrators listen to speakers during a rally on the campus of Saint Louis University on Oct. 13. (photo: Scott Olson/Getty Images)
Demonstrators listen to speakers during a rally on the campus of Saint Louis University on Oct. 13. (photo: Scott Olson/Getty Images)


New Proposal Would Provide Grand Juries With Eyes

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

04 December 14

 

The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."

n the heels of an initiative to provide police departments with body cameras, there is growing support for a plan to supply grand-jury members with eyes, advocates for the plan said on Wednesday.

“Body cameras are an important part of the solution,” said Harland Dorrinson, who is lobbying Washington to equip grand juries with the sense of sight. “But I strongly believe that if you take video evidence and add eyes, the combination would be unstoppable.”

Some critics of Dorrinson’s proposal say that it does not go far enough, and that in order to process information sent from their eyes grand juries would also need to be fitted with working brains.

“Yes, in a perfect world, all grand juries would have brains,” Dorrinson said. “But progress is an incremental thing. Let’s start with eyes and eventually work our way up to brains.”

e-max.it: your social media marketing partner
Email This Page

 

THE NEW STREAMLINED RSN LOGIN PROCESS: Register once, then login and you are ready to comment. All you need is a Username and a Password of your choosing and you are free to comment whenever you like! Welcome to the Reader Supported News community.

RSNRSN