Paul Ryan's Zombie-Eyed, Granny-Starving Tap Dancing

By Charles Pierce, Esquire

15 March 14

h, Paul Ryan. Your zombie-eyed granny starving won't get you into heaven any more.

The ZEGS from Wisconsin stepped on another rake yesterday while talking on Bill (Sportin' Life) Bennett's electric radio program. This is what he said.

"That's this tailspin or spiral that we're looking at in our communities...Your buddy Charles Murray or Bob Putnam over at Harvard, those guys have written books on this...We have got this tailspin of culture, in our inner cities in particular, of men not working and just generations of men not even thinking about working or learning the value and the culture of work...There is a real culture problem here that has to be dealt with."

(Let us pause for a moment and admire the shiny brass balls it takes to have a discussion imply that "inner city" men have a problem with their ethic between a guy who went to high school and college on Social Security survivor's benefits -- You're welcome, dickhead -- and a problem gambler who'd bet on which of his toenails would grow the fastest. Big shiny brass balls. See them gleam.)

This is not a dogwhistle. I mean, really, Charles Fking Murray? This is a goddamn air-raid siren. If you're talking about a "cultural problem" in the "inner city," and citing Charles Murray while you're doing it, well, you're pretty much broadcasting in the clear to the people you want to reach. That entire phony "listening tour" that you went on? Useless now. Want to run for president? You just wrote a radio and television ad for any Democrat who wants to run for president, including all of the dead ones. Your campaign is in the wind now, dude. Between this and that stupid brown paper bag fable that you cribbed at CPAC, you're no more ready for primetime than you were when Uncle Joe Biden laughed you off the stage back in 2012.

And, yes, I do so despair of the rebranding.

Today, though, Ryan is doing some first-class buck-and-wing away from his comments. Really, you have to watch Gene Kelly and Donald O'Connor doing "Moses Supposes" to see anything like this scrambling. Congresswoman Barbara Lee already tore him a new aperture, so you have to admitre his ability to prevaricate in pain.

After reading the transcript of yesterday morning's interview, it is clear that I was inarticulate about the point I was trying to make. I was not implicating the culture of one community-but of society as a whole. We have allowed our society to isolate or quarantine the poor rather than integrate people into our communities. The predictable result has been multi-generational poverty and little opportunity. I also believe the government's response has inadvertently created a poverty trap that builds barriers to work. A stable, good-paying job is the best bridge out of poverty. The broader point I was trying to make is that we cannot settle for this status quo and that government and families have to do more and rethink our approach to fighting poverty. I have witnessed amazing people fighting against great odds with impressive success in poor communities. We can learn so much from them, and that is where this conversation should begin.

Good god, this is all my bollocks. This is the risk of making a career within the conservative bubble. Sooner or later, you blurt something out in the code and the rest of the world hears it. He didn't say "inner city" by accident. He didn't cite a white supremacist like Murray by accident. He didn't go on Bennett's radio show accidentally. He knew what he was saying and to what audience. He was extremely articulate. And he remains the biggest fake in American politics.