How to Be More Like Satan

By Mark Morford, SF Gate

25 February 12

ften in the midst of my second glass of whisky do I ponder how it can be that seemingly savvy and knowledgeable people, people who clearly know better, people who you sense have a modicum of wisdom and perspective despite steaming piles of evidence to the contrary, how can such humans so brutally decide against their own better judgment, against their own inner voice, against what they must know, way down deep, to be honest and true?

More broadly: How can it be that we as individuals, as a species so often override our most innate, potent knowing simply because it is the popular choice, or the thing that will gain us more votes, or Likes, or money or candy or sex or time or power or support or accolades or cocktails or bonus points or awards? Particularly when we understand that such a choice will put us squarely on a collision course with illness, pain and prescription meds by the fistful?

"How is it," I ask, already knowing the answer, "that someone like, say, New Jersey governor Chris Christie could so ruthlessly veto the gay marriage bill that came across his desk recently, as passed by his own state legislature and increasingly supported by a majority of New Jersey's (and the nation's) more open-minded residents, even as DADT gasps its last and gay marriage calmly, if sporadically gains support and inevitability nation and worldwide?"

(WARNING: I'm going to assume for the sake of the next few paragraphs that Christie, a Catholic, has a shard of intelligence, appears reasonably articulate, understands what's happening in the culture and the world around him. I know, but let's just go with it).

Indeed, part of the the answer is already encoded in the question. People like Christie are, of course, so locked like sad demons into their stiff little roles they cannot help but toe the party line, delude themselves into believing what is so clearly a violent mischaracterization of love and marriage, even as they sell their own soul for the sake of the vote and the sneering fundamentalist GOP nod. Hey, this is politics. The murdering of one's own humanity for the sake of power and position has been around since man first oozed out of the slime and demanded a campaign contribution.

But surely he knows. Surely he saw what just happened in Washington state, or even right next door in New York just a few months ago.

Surely he is hearing a tiny but persistent voice in the night, his own conscience as a screaming whisper: "Oh goddammit, now I'll be one of those ugly footnotes. Now, in a handful of years when gay marriage is fully legal and no big deal, I'll be remembered as one of those dark smudges of ignorance who stood on exactly the wrong side of history, who jeered his disapproval, even if, deep down, I knew full well it's the wrong and immoral choice." Surely he knows. Don't you think?

Maybe he doesn't. This is the astonishing thing: We will choke down our better judgment, our own soul, in favor of the power and the cash, the political gain and the backslapping of approval from exactly the wrong kinds of people. Despite roughly one billion historic examples of how this is the unhealthy, hurtful and spiritually vacuous path, we will do it anyway. Just ask the Catholic church.

Make no mistake, this is not an immutable law. Nor is it, I believe, the true nature of the human spirit, to work from a bitterly reactive state of fear and suspicion, instead of from a pro-active, intuitive state of possibility and love. It's just the way many have been trained, the prevailing modality, politicians' and organized religion's favorite weapon. Most don't know how to do it any other way. But as the wise ones and ancients say, it's also completely full of sh-t.

Occasionally, one falls through the cracks. Occasionally someone steps up, just a little, to reveal how life can actually be when you dial in to the core and listen to the true voice. It is no easy thing to do. In fact, it is often the most difficult task of all.

Occasionally you get someone like Maureen Walsh, a small-town conservative rep from the tiny burg of Walla Walla, Washington, once known for its famous apples and funny little name and now known for its superlative vineyards and funny little name.

Did you hear? Walsh recently did a most remarkable thing. As her state's landmark gay marriage bill was being debated in the legislature, Walsh stood up and, choking back tears, powerfully broke ranks with her Republican counterparts.

Apparently, Walsh lost her husband of 23 years, the love of her life, six years ago. Also, Walsh's daughter is gay. The two emotional realms collided in her heart to reveal one overwhelming conclusion: To deny her own daughter the possibility of such a state-supported love, of a marriage ceremony and life of couplehood such as she and her late husband had known, would be nothing less than cruel. And for what? More Republican fear? A nasty misreading of a single tortured line in the Bible? Please.

And so you think, is that what it takes? Some personal hit, a death, a wake up call from a loved one, a child, a perspective slap so hard and deeply felt that, if you don't heed its call, not only will you be on the wrong side of history, but your very own soul will quickly wither and die? Is there really no other way?

Somewhere in the new "It Gets Better" documentary is the stunning statistic that fully 26 percent of kids who come out as gay to their families are told to get the hell out of the house. True. One in four children are saddled with parents so hateful or scared, so ill-informed or spiritually bereft, they can do nothing but reject their own child over the fact he or she loves in a way they can't and won't understand.

Perhaps you know people like this. Perhaps you are one yourself. If so, I am terribly sorry for you. But more so for your child.

In Milton's epic poem "Paradise Lost," the glorious, church-sanctioned tale of the fall of man, when the defiant angel Satan is cast out of heaven, he is first depicted as a completely glorious badass, reclining in fiery majesty, magnificently sexy and monstrously regal in his underworld throne.

But then, a slow deterioration. A ruthless decay. A withering and shrinking as he slides further and further away from God, from Source. And why? Well, one way to look at it is Satan was no longer in alignment with his God. Or what we might call, in the yoga tradition, his own true spirit, his divine nature, compassion and heart. (Another is that he was a radical individualist and anarchic rejecter of contrived heavenly dogma, but that's another column).

Strip out the bitter, dualistic Christian mythology, and the deeper lesson is simple enough: Stray from your true self, your calm inner knowing, deny your own heart's quieter, more authentic voice in favor of power, shrill punditry or the ego's sly trickery, and watch yourself fall, decay, slither into lower and lower realms of hate and sadness. Choose a path of fear instead of love, and watch yourself die.

Seems simple, no? Shall we alert the politicians?